Thursday, August 11, 2011

God uses the Impossible to Show His Strength

14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,[f] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
 Hebrews 4:14-16

God is so faithful to us when we are so undeserving of His mercy and grace. These are things that I have to cling to during life right now. I love my God so much but sometimes it is hard to see how the little brush strokes go into the big picture when I do not get to see the big picture.
I am blessed to be a daughter of Christ. I am so thankful to know that after this life I have an eternal life waiting. I struggle with being excited for other people's eternity. When I say that I mean that I do not want to lose the people in my life. I want them to have eternal life with Jesus too yes! I do not want to let go of people though and I do not want to have to think about living this life without certain people. Then again it says to let dead bury the dead and to follow Jesus. Do you realize exactly what that means? Jesus really pushed people not to follow him. He tried to tell them what they would be required to do and a lot of people could not handle it that is why he had twelve disciples and really only three that were truly close to Him.

So, my little brother is going through a hard time right now in his healh. I am deeply hurt over his situation and the fact that doctors cannot cure him. Oh, goodness but Jesus is the ultimate healer. He is the only one that can take this impossible situation and claim victory. I have the Holy Spirit living inside of me and I am claiming victory over Connor and his brain. This illness is to glorify God. I will proclaim to everyone until my dying day the moment Connor is healed because doctors have already claimed nothing can happen to cure the situation. Haha they do not have the Doctor that I have. This is life changing and monumental to be a living child of His.

Connor's situation may seem impossible now but so does public education in Memphis. This week I spent my first whole week in the school. I am so excited to be teaching with my mentor and my fifth grade students. They are some of the most precious kids I have ever met. They are stuck in a broken system though and that is detrimental to their education. They have had teachers scream and yell at them for years. They have administration coming into teachers classes telling them what is wrong in the class and yet they are not helping or supporting these teachers in educating these students. If everyone is not on the same page and accord to help educate these students then nothing will be uniform in building these students to be critical thinkers and successful students.

My heart is breaking right now for the world that we live in today. This world is broken. People are dying, starving, living in luxury, not educated, too educated, and living dead lives all because they do not know Jesus. What are we doing in life if it is not giving glory to God and showing His light to other people? This life should be lived to the fullest! We should serve, help, give, and glorify God. If I am being seen more than He what purpose am I serving, a selfish one. I know I cannot change the whole world but I can change the world around me and I want to change the brokeness that surrounds me. What do you want to do with the life you have been given?

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Normanite to Memphian

It has been so long since I have posted. I am sorry about taking so long!!! Things in Memphis are always go go go. I am officially claiming Memphis as my home now. I was able to visit Norman over the fourth of July. The visit was genuinely precious time with my family. I think moving away has helped me to realize a lot in life and one is just how important my family is to me. I loved spending time with my little brother.

My little brother really is a gem in my life. He is just so sweet and always full of life. This week we found out what we thought was a tumor on his gums is a small portion of the problem. He also has a lesion on his brain so there must be more tests done to find out what the doctors will be doing and what exactly they are fighting. Luckily I have a God that is the Creator. This means he can command anything and it must listen because he was the one that created all things. I will not fear this illness but will look at as an opportunity to shout praise to the Lord. Please when you think of me be praying for my brother and my mom though as they need the faith to see the Lord will turn things out for His glory and good.

So, Memphis... I love it here. My best friend was able to visit me the week leading up to the 4th of July. She will attest that Memphis is just the city I belong in to live. The city is big but it feels like a small town. I have finished two graduate classes. I am currently attending clinicals at KIPP Memphis. This is great seeing a lot of procedures and routines emblamented.

Class of Excellence is what my MTR group is calling ourselves. There is a total of 37 people in the program and whew they really are my family. I can share things with them and know that they will comment and love on me as family. This is just a blessing to be walking through this time of my life with all of them. I have found a church finally. I went today and oh it just warmed my heart while I was there. This was such a blessing because I have attended several but not felt just like any were the one for me. I am so excited to see a family sprout out of this church as well.

A few things about Memphis... the roaches are BIG, people love their city, the lifeguard at the pool is attached to his girlfriend slightly awkward I'm not sure that anyone would be saved, and my apartment has been named the H and M (Hanna and Moriah) we like to cook dinner and Hanna is amazing at baking.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Lord Rock My World

Memphian, from what I have gathered in two weeks of living in Memphis a Memphian is a person that claims Memphis as being their home. This could be a person that is from Memphis or a person currently living in Memphis and claims it as their home. I was a little nervous about leaving Norman, living my entire life there stressed me out a little to be moving 7 hours away. I can say now I feel as though Memphis is my true home. I will always claim Norman, the Sooners, and the Thunder but Memphis definitely has provided me with a comfort that I never felt in Norman. I honestly love this city so much! Many people were skeptical for me to be moving here as my mother found an article claiming Memphis to be 5th on the most dangerous cities in the United States. I have learned that Memphis reports every police report turned into the city no matter how petty it may seem thus making the crime ratings more extensive than other cities may claim. I also have learned that if you are somewhere you shouldn't be or doing something you shouldn't be this is when you will get into trouble. Luckily I am not doing things I shouldn't so I think it is safe to say that I am in a safe situation here in Memphis.

So much has happened in the past two weeks of living in this marvelous city! My mom, stepdad, and little brother helped move me out here. They help set-up a lot of my apartment. I was a little sad at first and really needed my apartment to feel like home before they left me here. I am so thankful for everything they did in those two days for me. When we arrived on Tuesday there were MTR graduates from this year and last year waiting to help move me into the apartment. This was just the beginning of a community and family that I cannot describe. My roommate Hanna and her parents arrived the afternoon my parents had left. I have to say she is a ball of fire. I could not ask for a better roommate to live with for the next year of Memphis Teacher Residency. She is so joyful, servant minded, hospitable, and a great encourager. We have had a lot of fun these past two weeks getting to know each other and having fun.

MTR started things off with a bang! We had a welcome dinner, Hoe Down, Orientation, and Lonaroo all within the first week of being in Memphis. Memphis things that MTR has taken the 2012 class of excellence to do: Civil Rights Museum, this was a phenomenal experience I learned so much about the rich history of Memphis and well words cannot describe the emotion felt during this experience. Stax Records Museum, this was a tour and video of the Stax Recording Museum we saw outfits from Tina and Ike Turner, the blue cadillac Issac Hayes drove, records and records from so many other Memphian artists during the 60's. This experience also was great for learning the culture of Memphis. So many talented people came out of Memphis. Graceland, the home of Elvis Presley. Even if a person is not a huge Elvis fan this was a fun outting. Elvis started Rock-n-Roll and that revolutionized music. I had fun during all of these experiences and the awesome thing is that these are just beginnings to many more iconic places in Memphis. This city has so much to offer that it is mind blowing!

Family and community is so important for the spirit. My actual family I miss. My family is walking through a tough time right now. My little brother Connor is ten years old. He is so precious and whew really a great child. When we came out here his right side of his face was a little swollen so we thought he might have something wrong with one of his teeth. My mom took him to the dentist the day after they returned home. We found out that he has a tumor that is on his jaw. This is more complicated because he has a port-wine stain on the same side of his face. The blood vessels from the port-wine stain are feeding the tumor causing it to grow really fast. He has an appointment this Friday with a professor at the OU Dentistry College. Hopefully we will found out some good news and this will be taken care of soon. I know that my God is the ultimate Healer and He will take care of Connor. My other brother Cheyenne is listed to deploy anyday for Iraq as well. Please say a prayer for my brothers and family just so they will rely on God and know that He has it all under control. So with all of this my family and community here in Memphis are vital to me right now. I am so grateful for every person that is going through this program. Each person is so unique and they all really are where they should be. I cannot imagine our family with anyone else in it or with anyone missing from it. I am already falling in love with these people as my family.

Grad school has officially kicked off as well. We are in two courses right now that are four weeks long. Tomorrow I will be a fourth of the way finished with two grad classes. That is kind of ridiculous for me to think about. These classes do take a lot of time. I have never read so much in my life nor have I had to use so many out side sources for papers. I have mutiple papers in one course and in the other I have several quizes and projects in both. Needless to say it is becoming my life. I really enjoy the material being covered though and know it is all worth it. I am where God has called me and He is doing some big things here in Memphis!

I will leave you with some images from the past two weeks....

outfit from Ike and Tina

The Jungle Room

2012 Class of Excellence

MTR residents, graduates, and staff

Um... well Hanna and I in a 3 legged race and I bit the dust

Hanna and I made cake pops for our first day of grad school!

Friday, May 27, 2011

See you soon, Goodbye, and Hello

Wow, so I have three and half days until I am in the car driving to Memphis, Tennessee. I never thought that I would move to Tennessee. The surprises God has for us are, well, epic usually. I was meeting with my mentor in January/Feburary and I told her that I wanted to start praying for God to rock my world. Well, He will definitely do just that if you ask for it. :) This past week I finally got really excited about moving because it finally seems real. I have been seeing friends and family that it will be the last time to see for a while. Some people in my life I am blessed to say see you soon and others I am saying goodbye to them. I think that life is kind of crazy in the sense that really there are people in my life now that I may not ever see or speak to again. Luckily I have gone to college in Norman, my hometown, but there are people here that will also be moving away. I have been so blessed in the past couple years to build relationships with people that invested in me and that I was able to invest in, grow in Christ together, and make lasting memories. I have started shedding tears with the see you soons and goodbyes. I know that most of the tears will be shed when my mom gets in her car and leaves me in Memphis. These will not just be tears of sadness but tears of joy, excitement, and some for being scared. I know I should not have fear but it is kind of scarey thinking that I will be alone seven hours away from home. Following these tears will probably be a lot of laughter and hugs and the next step will begin. The hellos... I will be making a lot of new friends in less than a week. I believe we will be more than friends though we will be a family. The environment provided by Memphis Teacher Residency is one that will cultivate lasting life long relationships. I get butterflies thinking about this because I get so shy when I first meet people. As most know I do not stay shy for long, I do like to talk hahaha. David Montague the director of MTR told us during the Spring Selection Weekend "embrace the butterflies". So that is what I am trying to do now with the anticipation of the move. Embrace my butterflies, and enjoy the adventure and surprises set before me. :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


My God is such a good God. I feel as though the Lord has been showering me in blessings over the past week. I am so thankful and want to share what He has been doing for my life. (I will start with most recent).

I was lying in bed reading the Bible the other night when I felt directed to go to Philemon. I honestly have never paid much attention to this particular book of the Bible but I turned to it to read. I have found myself taken back with the passage : Philemon 1:4-7

 4 I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. 6 I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.

I have never struggled with having faith in God, but with so many events making moving to Memphis a struggle I was beginning to have doubts and a lot of worries. God knew just how to encourage me at the right time and remind that I have to have faith in Him.

I was struggling with paying my bursar off before moving to Memphis as well. I have talked to a few people in the Bursar's office several times and they seemed reluctant to help. I understood that they deal with a lot of students and a lot of people trying to pay off their schooling. I talked to Janice and she told me she would not be able to release a transcript until my entire bursar was paid off. I told her thank you and hung up. Five minutes later she called me back. She was able to remove service fees and charges from my account lowering the balance to $62! This was such a blessing I can not describe the thankfulness I have for this blessing.

Someone so sweet and generously left an envelope outside my apartment on Tuesday. This envelope had money in it that has helped me tremendously during a time of need. I do not know who it was and cannot thank them enough. I just pray that God will shower them with blessings for their kindness.

Last Monday I found out about being scammed. After a lot of freaking out I went to see my mom at home. She was incredibly calm about the whole situation. She was the most loving and supportive mother ever! She started to laugh and told me she had been given a raise at work that would be effective that paycheck. I cannot help but smile, because God has known from the beginning of time that this would happen. Often we need to experience events to remind us that we cannot walk through this life without Him. He is a powerful God that loves us so much and we need Him.

Overall of these blessings He has given me so much peace. I can only describe as a peace from God. I know without a doubt that moving to Memphis is the right choice and I am beyond thrilled and excited to see all that awaits in Memphis!!!!! All praise and glory be to God my Father!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Praise During the Good and Bad

God is so faithful, good, and constant. I know that no matter what situation in life good or bad He is with me and loves me. I am so blessed to have family and friends that support me in this life. I graduated from OU this past Saturday. It was such a great day where I got to sit next to girls that I have grown close to in the past two and half years. I have been greatly effected by those girls and two guys. They were a group that constantly supported and encouraged one another. A group that during ridiculous class assignments pushed on and completed professor expectations. A group that made themselves available when another was going through a hard time or celebrated with others in the good times. I am truly going to miss everyone so much!

I am finally getting really excited about moving to Memphis. Two weeks from today and I will be making that wonderful 7 hour drive with my mom, little brother, Allison, and Carissa (two of the greatest friends I have ever had). I know that this is where God is called me to be. I have encountered several road blocks along the way that have made me question whether it was the right time for Memphis but I know that Satan will try his hardest to keep us from doing God's will. I will not let Him step in the way. God is the ultimate victor and I will praise His name.

My latest road block has been that I was scammed out of $3,000. I thought I had a girl that would take over my apartment lease since it does not end until May 2012. Well in the process of doing logistical things she sent me a check and asked for the excess amount (after 2 months rent was taken out) to be wired to a person that would be doing the shipping of her things. I tend to be a trusting person and think that all people are doing good. This all happened and three days later my bank called to inform me that the check was not able to be cleared from the other bank. Thus all the money that I had taken out of my account to be wired was not really in my bank and now my account is being charged for all of that money. I was sent into an immediate state of distress because I do not have that kind of money. Then my mom and Carissa brought me back to reality and told me to talk to God. I went through every kind of situation and circumstance I could imagine praying to God but decided I will praise His name! He is my provider and He knew from the beginning of time that this was going to happen. My mom was so good to me when I went to see her. She reminded me that money is just money. I am not going to die, nobody else will die, nor is anyone hurt. Money is just something that comes and goes it is not a relationship that we have any person or God. I am not really sure what is going to happen now. I do know that God will take care of me though. I will still be moving to Memphis. I will have to pay that $3,000 to the bank somehow and look for a new person to take over my lease, but God will help me. I am His daughter and these silly antics that are trying to distract me from moving have no weight in my decision.

Honestly, I think that this makes me more excited about moving to Memphis because I know that God has BIG plans for me or it would all be a breeze moving. Last summer I went to the Philippines for a mission trip. The night before we were supposed to start a youth camp all 11 passports were stolen with $7,000 U.S. dollars. We overcame that situation through Jesus, on the last day of camp all 11 passports were returned to the hostile where we were staying. We had a phenomenal youth camp with those students and Satan was trying to get us down before there was Victory in Jesus' name. I have faith that God will provide for me and I know that He has a plan for me in Memphis.

His love has set me free!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Oh, How He Loves Us

The best feeling in the world is knowing that I have a Father in heaven that loves me unconditionally no matter what I do in life. I have been so blessed to see His unconditional love in my life. There are three different types of love eros commonly known as erotic love strong feelings towards another, philos a love based on friendship, and agape an unconditional love. Some of the best stories I have read in the Bible show God's agape love for his people. He has shown mercy and grace to many because He loved them. I believe He showed this most of all by sending Jesus to save us. His son was handed a life to live that none of us could ever compare to. Then Jesus died on the cross so he could be the sacrifice for our lives. This weekend is Easter thousands of people will go to church that normally do not attend a Sunday service. I believe that God will show people His love through countless sermons this weekend but it is our responsibilty to follow up with His love. What will we do with His love to share it with others?

I have spent a lot of time meditating on His love for me His daughter. I have been through moments within the past week of frustration and stress. Those nights I slept with the feeling of God wrapping his arms around me like I am His precious child that he will take care of.

So, I had the worries about my busar and getting my lease taken over before moving to Memphis in a short five and half weeks. It makes me laugh because I stress and fret as if God did not know how everything would be going for my life. People say His timing is perfect and that is indescribally true. I have been finalizing things with a girl that will be taking over my lease starting the beginning of May. This is a blessing for my lease to be taken over and for me to be able to apply what would be May rent to my bursar. I know that as things are slowly falling into place for me to move my bursar will be paid off before the end of May. I have a test the Praxis II test on April 30th. This test is for Tennessee, I was worried at the beginning of studying for it because it has material from all four main subject areas and I do not remember a lot of the content that is specified to study for the test. This week a peace has resided over me about this test. I know that every move thus far has been of the Lord and He will be with me as I take the test.

He shows His love everyday in the small and big things in life. We just need to take the time to appreciate the small and big. I think that we should take His love and share it with others. We should be selfless with this love it is unconditional and everyone deserves to encounter a love like His.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Bliss in the Battles

I have decided to create a blog because I am on a fast track journey with the Lord to living out my calling. I want friends and family to be able to keep up with me and the life that has been set before me to live. I also want to glorify God is every thing that happens in my life. I want to share all His victories so that people may be encouraged, grow, and be strengthened to share about what the Lord is doing in their lives.

I recently was accepted into a program in Memphis, Tennessee. Memphis Teacher Residency ( is an organization focused on equipping people to become highly effective teachers in urban areas. I will be living there and getting a Master's degree from June 2011-May 2012. After completion of the Master's program I will be placed into a school to teach. I foresee Memphis becoming my new home. Of course if the Lord calls me to serve Him somewhere I will follow Him.

I learned about the organization after a girl forwarded me an email she received about MTR. I was a little surprised because she knew that I had a heart to serve inner city children but we had not had many conversations about my future. I took time praying over the decision to apply to the program or to finish the full program at OU. I decided I would wait a year to apply because it would be more logical to go in a year. Especially since I was already placed on a mission trip to be an assistant leader to the Philippines. The reality is I was making a decision on my own. I wrestled with this decision because I was not receiving any peace about not applying to MTR. So I finally applied to the program. I was astonished when I had my phone interview I was immediately asked to go to the Spring Selection Weekend in March. I could barely remember the questions in the phone interview and knew the Lord was speaking through me that day. As I took my first trip alone I drove 7 hours to Memphis in March. I am usually a very high strung and stressed out kind of girl. That weekend I can say was  life changing weekend. I have never felt the Lord with me more than I did then. I had so much peace that I cannot describe it nor can I give credit to anything but God. I was extremely calm while I saw other girls going over their lessons again and again. I simply put my headphones in and listened to worship music because I knew I was there for Him that weekend and not me. So within a matter of three days after the weekend I was invited to attend MTR for the class of 2012. This was  a relief just so I knew what I would be doing after graduation. I also knew without a doubt this was the Lord's calling for me to serve him in Memphis.

So, since that phone call I have been in a whirl wind of action preparing for the end of my undergraduate at OU. I had to start sending things to Tennessee for background checks and for enrollment with Union University  which is the University my Masters will come from through MTR.

I hit a small bump earlier this week as I tried to get my transcript. I still owe money with the bursar at OU and they will not let me receive my transcript until it is paid off. This was the beginning of battles to be won by Jesus. So I frantically began to panic. The Lord does not stress nor does He not foresee the events that we will encounter. MTR was so amazing to allow me until the end of May to turn in my transcript based on the situation. I claim this as the Lord having favor and providing for me.

Small bump number two happened last night. I thought that I had my lease covered since it is until May of 2012. The person that was going to take over my lease is now not able to. I realized as I began to worry that this is not of the Lord. Satan will try to detour us from plans God has set before us because He does not want the Lord to have victory. I know that through experience when Jesus has big plans for us there will be many battles to try to throw us off track. I will not let these small curve balls win in my life and I want to share all of God's victories with you!!!